So provocative!

Tangentially related, I can't recall if I've mentioned the odd matter of the "urim and thummin" referenced in 1 Samuel 14:41 & 28:6. If working through some textual problems, this may have nothing to do with the 'ephod' or sacred breastplate which which it's often confused. Rather, it seems to be an oracular device.

An interesting scholar named WIlliam Harwood in his the "Dictionary of Contemporary Mythology" suggests this was a divination device in the form of Yahweh's penis. Two balls representing Yahweh's gonads could go down the hollow dildo and produce the 'answer' in the form of which ball. As Harwood writes:

"Yahweh was asked a question, and the ephod was then tilted so that only one stoned emerged from the tip of the glans. If the white uwriym came out, Yahweh's answer was 'yes.' If the black thumiym appeared, Yahweh's answer was 'no.'"